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You will wonder why my blog often has a new layout while I don't often update my posts. HAHA. Lame erh? You see, this girl is always enjoying creating/modifying new layouts as a fun experience for herself! But I do update my blog once in a while!

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Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery

Two Horrible Scenes!
Written on: Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Time: 5:10 PM

I'll never forget two horrible scenes that happened during our sec 3 camp..... ITS HORRIBLE....!!!

Zhoumeng, Ivy and I were walking around the grass while waiting for our friends to finish their games (at Flying Fox & activities)...

At that time, we were waiting for our turn to try out the rock climbing.....

Zhoumeng went for her turn... so left me and Ivy waiting...

Ivy spotted this really cute caterpillar.... different type.. not the common caterpillar that evolves into a butterfly after going through the life of a pupa.

Then we kinda feel sorry for the caterpillar because it was finding its way out of this big water container. It was on top of the cap... it really don't know how to escape... so Ivy used a water bottle and move it close to the caterpillar so that it will stick on it and crawl on the water bottle. Then, I suggested putting it on some bunch of leaves from bushes or some tall grasses all the floor... but Ivy said no need, can place it on a tree, as it could crawl upwards to the branches, then to the leaves.... I was objecting it but given the idea about the leaves from a tree, I accepted Ivy's decision.

So, she let it off on the truck. Then, as I watched, I remembered something. "Is it really safe for it?? What if...what if...?!"

With that, I quickly informd Ivy about it! She thought for a while, and agreed lor. I took the water bottle and rushed to the tree in case something might happen.

TOO LATE.

WE SPOTTED AN UGLY-LOOKING SPIDER CRAWLING DOWNWARDS TOWARDS THAT CATERPILLAR WHICH WAS STILL INNOCENTLY CRAWLING LIKE A CUTE BABY!!!!

OMG!!!!!

TOO LATE! That STUPID IDIOT spider crawled towards it, it was preparing to attack, by circling around the caterpilla. I saw the poor caterpillar trying to escape but it crawled too SLOW. TOO LATE!!! THE SPIDER POUNDED ON IT AND ITS MOUTH BIT THE HEAD!!!!!!!! EWWWWK! WE WERE LIKE, O MY GOD FREAKING GOD!!!! Cos we were watching so closely and also watching HELPLESSLY!!!!

No need to watch documentary show; The Animal Planet. We got a live show now..... (=_=)

YUCK!! Then, the attack stayed like that for a few seconds, with the caterpilla's head still inside the spider's foul mouth. Not moving....They were both still.... Omg... I was imagining....spiders' webcobs come from the mouth right? Maybe the spider sprayed webcobs ALL OVER the caterpilla's head to suffocate it???? OH NOOOO!!! As I watched, I could feel my HEART BREAKING!!! As if I lost my dog! That kind of feeling!!! ARGH! MY heart BREAKS u know! I can even "hear' CRACK CraaCK inside!!

Then, its OVER!!! The spider had done its battle! As it started to move, the caterpilla's body started to swing lifelessly! When the spider crawled, the caterpilla's lifeless body also SWING around! Like a lion biting its prey's neck and walk while its prey's body swinging around, that kind of thing! YUCK!! ITS SO HORRIBLE!!!!!! WORSE THAN INJURING YOURSELF AND SEEING BLOOD GUSTING OUT FROM THE WOUND!! OMGGGGGG!!!!! You know, I kind of BLAMED Ivy for her stupid idea of placing the poor caterpilla on the tree. Instead of saving it, it got into more danger and alas, it died as expected! SIGH!! I even told ZhouMeng about it, I think she also saw it just in time after she finished her turn...HAIZZZ!! I'm so SAD you know!!!

ANOTHER SCENE! No killing or whatsoever but when Zhoumeng was filling up her bottle with water, she suddenly screamed. She saw a huge spikey-looking fat caterpilla just under the water tap! LOL. But it looked cute lah. Then I think zhou meng or Ivy or other girl, used the bottle to shoo the caterpilla away. It did but when it fell on the ground, it spread its whole body like a pancake. And when it did, we saw one black patch on either its back or its body. We can't tell cos it was spikey all over. Ivy thought when it fell, that black thing appeared which meant its body was broken into HAFT!

(=_=) Never heard before.... i don't think it will die that easily by falling itself on the ground. The ground's not even that hard...... got grass all over the place.... I was like tellin them to pick up the caterpilla and put it somewhere else like those bushes but I think ZhouMeng said no need lah...what for..... (=_=) I wanted to do it but then our class had to go off sia. As we walked away, I kept looking behind! I AM SO WORRIED FOR THAT FAT CaTERPILLA!!!! WHAT IF IT CANNOT MOVE ITS BODY AS IT IS TOO FAT?? What if there are RED ants or SPIDERS around the grass???!!? What IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN!! Like an enemy comes and ATTACK its fatty feisty body while it helpless struggles to move its body that lied flat on the floor?! OMG! SIAN!! MY HEART BROKE FOR THE SECOND TIME AGAIN!!! ARGHH! I WILL NEVER FORGET SUCH SORROWFUL MOMENTS IN MY LIFE!

*hysterically crying...* =(

Past and Present
Written on: Friday, January 26, 2007
Time: 11:34 PM

Well, even though there are some secrets and ugly parts in the past which my parents told me it had happened during the time when I was a very young girl, many years had past by and even though I'm not as close to my father's family side as my mother's family side, I'll still try to understand my dad's side as much as I can.

Yet, when I want to do it, a barrier is preventing me from doing it, I do not know why. Perhaps the past still bother me? And as well as my father's darkest secrets? Sigh, sometimes I really wish to know if they really love me as part of the family members or was it just because its for the "sake" of their brother so they will just do it for his only one and hearing impaired daughter? When my parents told me of the past, it really hurts my heart so much, I cried and cried. My father even cried after telling me. It really hurts him and me. To think that when I didn't know the truth, I was like, putting so much trust and love towards them and now that the past came to my life, my trust in them shattered and I really could no longer decide whether to trust and love them anymore. I know that whats in the past has already happened but for now, the relationship between me and them are still not that close. For my grandparents.... especially my grandmother....when I heard about one incident that involved her in the past, I was really heartbroken. Is it really true that my grandmother did such a thing? Why? Why do this? Is there a FREAKING DAMNED PROBLEM with it?? This is not fair.

Well, this is my blog and this is like a diary to me so don't you mind.

I can't believe it... before I know the truth, I always think that I'm one of my grandmother's favourite grandchildren, the way she treated me such as cooking one of my favourite dishes or whatever but after learning the past, my trust in her kind of vanished....

On my dad's side, all of them are well-educated and most of them are university graduated. My father was the only odd one. He stopped after finishing secondary school, not that he hated study but well, different people have different thinking. To him, its not important to be a university graduate. In the past, before we F7 were born, finishing secondary school as in finishing your JC or Poly level, was allowed, for that time. But now, of course not, its a must that you have to continue after finishing secondary school. Then one day, all his siblings joined the christianity except him. To him, whats so important to be a christian? Its just a religion stuff. His siblings thought that its great to be a christian, with all these jesus thing and loving lord and be good people and all. And because of that, it also brought their sibling relationships closer to one another and not my father. Even though my father had an only brother among the six beside the four sisters, they were not a close brother relationship. That, I dunno the reason but I don't wanna ask in case the reason might hurt him. Then, came the marriage. They all got married, my dad too. Then I was born.

As my father was not as rich as his siblings, so when my grandmother had to look after me as both of my parents worked, one day, she made my father boiled in anger and left the house to move to a new place to stay on our own, because she did not want to look after me, after finding out that my father could not provide her to her expectation. What the hell? Just because of that, she don't want to look after me! And because of that, my mother had to quit her job and took over. So when I'm all grown-up, and new cousins are born, wau lau, my grandmother want to look after them just because my father's siblings could provide better service for her. When my father told me about it, he said "At that time, that very fateful day, I will never forget it and will not forgive my mother for that"

And whenever my parents need help, for example, they just simply give them some piece of exam sheets for me to do as to improve my studies. My father was like "Bullshit. So what? I can afford that exam pieces! They are easy to buy, they are everywhere. When your other uncles and aunties need help, wah, the rest really want to help out and really help out more than they help us, they are more sincere to others than to us. What is this??"

God, I can feel so much discrimination....

There are still some more secrets.... but I don't want to go on anymore.....

When I was little, I was been "treated" like that, and now that I'm grown-up, things change and they "change" too. Even the treatment is different. The way my grandmother treat me now, was different from what I heard the way she treated me when I was younger. Why? Is she doing the way a good grandmother should be just because I'm growing up now? As if I can look after myself?

The changes seems... weird to me.... my heart was in all mixed feeling now..... even now, I really do not know whether to love them or not even though they are still my relatives and grandparents... blood is thicker than water... .although I somehow love them, I still somehow hate them for the past. And as well as the way my father was been treated. My father had a miserable childhood. Even now when I'm typing this, I feel like crying again but I'm trying to control it.... family should care for one another, not be bothered about one's background. So what if you are a graduate? So what if you are rich? So what if you are poor? Whats the PROBLEM with it???

I don't feel sorry for myself. I feel most sorry for my father. Anyway, there is this cruel thinking in my mind. I really hate to think it but this might be just an initial act of anger.... you see, this is what I think: When I grow up, I'm gonna work hard for myself and for my parents. So whenever my uncles/aunties need help from us, bleah, I'll do just the same as they did to us in the past! You treat us like that, so why should I help? This is what its called revenge!

Sorry if its scaring you. I know it sounds stupid but like I said, this is what I thought of for a while after learning of the past... but who knows, in the future, it won't be like that anymore....maybe I'll still continue to love them with all my heart no matter what... this is how family love comes all about! (^_^) My cousins had got nothing to do with it. I love them much more than the uncles/aunties.

Forgiving the person is forgiving yourself because by forgiving the person despite his actions, you are also forgiving yourself for hating him or whatever emotions you got.... thats what I think..... LOL!

Oh well, will see them this Sunday! =D

The Wedding Anniversary
Written on: Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Time: 11:10 PM

MY GRANDPARENTS' 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

DATE: 24 JANUARY 2007

VENUE: Singapore Swimming Club, Tsui H??? Village (restaurant)

Forgot the road location (=_=)

They already ordered a private room for whole families.

A grand restaurant LOL

I brought my flute along. So, I saw my cousins there already. Like usual and always in a polite manner, I greeted everyone I approached(uncles & aunts)

I looked around. My grandparents haven't arrive yet! Hehe. Cos all of us were trying to help each other to speed things as to fully prepare everything. Even though I'm very exhausted as I just came back home from camp, I still helped out.

Suddenly, one of my uncles shouted "They are here! Quick!"

At that time, we already finished, so we get ourselves ready as two uncles ran to the door and slowly opened it, revealing the figures of an elderly couple in their best suit at the doorstep. Their bright smiles made me smile happily as well. Even though I only see them every Sunday, I still felt as if I had not seen them for years.

So we all settled down to our tables. Then my grandmother saw me, then she was like, asking one of my uncle to take photo of me and here and I noticed I was the only one who actually took a individual one with her and not the other cousins. She even asked my grandfather to join but then he said no need.

Anyway, The waitresses started to serve us the restaurant's fantastic yummilious food!!! WAH, all chinese food, SO MOUTH-WATERING!


*DROOL*

HAHA!

Then we ate. While we were eating, my second oldest cousin of all my cousins, Issac Long, he went on "stage" to announce the events for the night. He spoke in chinese for the sake of my grandparents and we were also all chinese LOL. So I was just sitting there like "UH HUH....UH HUH......" like I act pro as if I understand LOL!!! But anyway, one of my aunt and my girl cousin, Victoria, explained to me whats he was talking about LOL!

So we ate lor.

Then we asked our grandparents their younger days on how they met each other and fell in love. Not gonna tell you! LOL. Its personal. LOL.

Then comes the performance! A family of my cousin's had to perform first. They are little kids......

(=_+)

Use FISHES as talking puppets.

Dunno wat they are talking about. They talk in chinese. =_=

Then the others were like laughing at them cos I think the kids were telling a funny story. LOL

When they laughed, I pretend to laugh. I laugh....laugh so fake =_=

When they clapped, I also clapped

(=_=)

REALLY, dunno what the kids are talking about! LOL. So I just follow them SIA.

Then when they finished, some of my aunts were talking to my parents and they were "HINTING" at me! I was like NO!!! NOT ME! DON'T POINT AT MEEEE!!!

ARGGGH everyone were like ganging up against me, wanting me to perform for them

FINE! I'll just perform for the SAKE of my GRANDPARENTS as its their WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

I PLAY A CHINESE MELODY. I also repeat the lines as it is short.

After that, all were like BIG EYES at me, then suddenly, they clapped so HARD, far worse than the clapping for the kids

Is this a praise or pretending to clap or what?

(=_=) Well i know i shouldn't think like that but...oh well....

Then the moment I sat down, they were like praising me sia.

I dunno if I should feel happy or not.

Then...blah blah.. chatted with cousins

Then we finished dinner.

TIME FOR THE MEMORY TAPE!

I mean, time to watch the photo memories in the computer through a program.

First part, shows our grandparents' younger days...

Gosh, I saw their young faces! SO COOL MAN!

Then their honeymoon photos.....their wedding....!

Next, second part, shows of them and their kids who were my uncles and aunts and my dad is one of those kids! Four girls and two boys. My father is the third child of the family. Haha, saw all baby photos of them! HAHA SOOO CUTE!! Then also showed some photos of their kids growing up into young adults. Gosh, when I saw my father grown up, MY GOD, SOOO SKINNY!!! So different than the HIM now.

Then, third part, all my uncles and aunts got married! (Including my dad and mum)

Then the forth part, BABY PHOTOS OF ME AND MY COUSINS! HAHA

Got one funny part, when my first cousin, Kimberly(oldest of all cousins) was a baby, someone snapped her sitting on the BOWEL, reading a BOOK! (sorry not newspaper) WAH! We started to laugh at her hilarious posture! LOL Kimberly was like STUNNED. Her face was like "What the hell??!" LOL! Thats why she is sooo clever. Now studying at Nanyang Tech University, one of the tops U beside Singapore U.... And she is only like 19 or 20 years old. I feel like, she is soo young, although its not anymore. LOL!

After that, we went for family photo-taking. All kinds. Im lazy to explain liao. I feel as if I'm in a really BIG family like that. (>.<)

Alot of photo taking. Now my eyes so blur already. See so many WHITE-BLUE PATCHES all over the place sia!
When I watched my cousin and their own family taking photo with the grandparents, i feel kinda "proud" of "raising" my cousins up. They are so big and grown-up already, especially the boys. SO TALL AND MANLY now.... SO SMART ALSO. Definetely a first-prize catch for ANY girl! LOL!

After that, we had family chat....
Yeah, then Im very tired already. Wanna go home...

School Camp
Written on: Saturday, January 20, 2007
Time: 11:30 PM

Just came back......

Three days camp = tough

Day 1

We went for Flying Fox and other activites (rock climbing and such)

I FEEL LIKE FLYING TO HEAVEN!!!!!!

when i fly like a FLYING FOX

Yep.

Then what?

Oh, rock climbing I think.

Didn't manage to complete =(

Then, THE FREAKING ACTIVITIES THAT WILL TEST YOUR HEIGHT COURAGE.

I VERY TIRED FROM THE ROCK CLIMBING

ARMS NUMBS, FINGERS NUMBS

sian, i still go try one, the easiest one

LOL, can't take it. I completed the easy part but haven't tried the other two ones that are harder as my arms are so damned "dead".

THEN TIME UP

GO BACK HOME TO BATH (school)

EAT, SLEEP... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

DAY 2

WE WENT FOR "ROUGH IT OUT"

HELLA FUN!!! MY TEAM (together with Ivy and Zhoumeng) BEAT THE OTHER TEAM IN THEIR OWN BOATS!!! And to think another team of my same class, has quite a number of sporty people but we, the non-sporty types, managed to beat them twice! As well as class 3/1! Our other team (with the sporty types) they didn't purposely let us win. They wanted to win as well but unexpectedly, my own group won. LOL

We were like "WHOO WHOOO BEAT YOU!!!!!" at them LOL

So fun!!

Yeah

FUN

Yeah

So we went back to school

EAT, SLEEP..ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Day 3

I dislike it.

TREKKING AT PALAU UBIN.

Its good that we only had a few hours for trekking but on the way, we faced some obstacles!

Such like STEPPING ON MUDS!!! And MUDS that can PULL UR LEGS DOWN!!

SCARY!

once, I was following the way my friends walk to "escape" from the muddy sides then when its my turn to step on the "safe" spot, my right shoe stepped on a muddy part that was REALLY slippery, and actomatically PULLED my shoe down!!! I WAS LIKE OMIGOSH! OMIGOSH! RUN RUN RUN!!

I tried to pull my right leg up but the shoe got stuck with the sticky mud and I almost pull off with my SOCKS instead! When I felt it, I quickly put my foot back and pull with the shoe together with MUCH MORE FORCE and PHEW!

I "jumped" away like a frightened animal. =_=

LAME. STUPID MUD. I almost LOST my right leg! Luckily my shoe got dirty and not my leg.

Some girls are worse. One of the NT girl's leg went right deep into the mud! Yuck. We all were like OH NO....OH MY GOD.....EWWW....OOOHHH.......

One of my classmates was also a victim. Got attacked by the Monster Mud =_=

Ok, still fun though. Palau Ubin reminds me so much like a Malaysia town side

Something like, a place far from the city.

Yeah...

Went back home to bath.

EAT SLEEP ZZZ

THE END

THANK YOU FOR READING TO MY LOUSY NO JOKE STORY AT ALL.

Now shall update my grandparents' wedding anniversary.

YEAH...


Fun Try (=_=)
Written on: Monday, January 01, 2007
Time: 1:46 PM

Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control.
You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.
What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?



Your Life Is Worth...

$1,396,500
How Much Is Your Life Worth?


How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You're open to new people and friends, which makes you a pretty popular person.
You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.
How Do You Live Your Life?


You Are 9 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
What Age Do You Act?

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Intuition

You are:

A true wordsmith - a master of words
Original, spontaneous, and a true inspiration
Highly energetic, up for any challenge
Entertaining and engaging, both to friends and strangers

A NEW YEAR IS BORN
Time: 12:58 PM

WEEEEEEEE! 2007!!!! Welcome to Earth!!!

LOL.

Ok, im supposed to update my post last Friday, 29 Dec where I went to Marina Square to have japanese lunch with my cousins!

HMM.

Oh yes, it was a concidence that Hau En and Ivy also have to go there for their own business. LOL

At Japanese restaurant; Yuki & Yaki

First table, we cooked our own food. Its self-service, you have to choose your own raw food from fridge after another fridge, something like picking your own food at buffet....then we cooked them into the hot steaming thing dunno what it is called at our own table of course.

SO DELICIOUS

I eat alot of MEAT
(>.<) AND I ATE SO LITTLE VEGETABLES. HAHAHA. We had fun cooking ourselves and also play with "fire", but of course, don't let our parents catch us doing it =D Then hor, there were two of my cousins right? Both are sisters. One is Victoria, same age as me and the older sister is Kimberly, 19, studies at NTU (Nanyang Technology University, one of the top unis in Singapore!) I dunno if i spell it correctly but its one of the tops! So smart hor? Damn.... Then Kimberly brought some fruits to the table. Victoria and I somewhat had the same thinking. Great mind think alike. Vic and I were like "kekeke" You see, our idea was, cooking the fruits into the big pot where you steam seafood inside like those steamboat. LOL Stupid right? HAHA we just try our luck lah. We put one fruit into the hot water. Can see it boiling with all bubbles popping out. HAHA, I'll bet all the flavour would be GONE Then we finished "cooking" the fruit. The colour still looked the same then I was like "Tori, you try" "No no, you try" "You try lah" "You first, b'cos you sit nearer to the pot =D" (=_+) lame In the end, Kimberly took over. LOL! The moment she bit it, she was like "YUUUCCCK!"

Cooked fruit definetely doesn't taste good! I don't know if there IS ever cooked fruits but to me, it sure taste not nice.

LOL

Then, we want to try ice cream, as our dessert. We moved to another table, with our parents yep. At the far end there, just near the windows.

We made the ice cream ourselves. Like the hot pot which we cooked our food, we have a COLD pot as to help us to cool and harden the ice cream so that we can eat real ice cream.

While it was my turn to make the ice cream, I saw Hauen and Ivy outside the window.

"HI RACHEL!"

"HI HI!"

LOL.

"WE GO SHOPPING. SEE YA LATER!"

"OKOK!"

LOL.

So we ate a few more ice cream......

So damn full. Can feel my stomach so fat already. So bloated....

Then we left japanese restaurant. I quickly search for my friends.

SAW THEM!! Standing at the edge of the brown pole thing where it prevent you from falling into the lower level *dunno wats called* I THOUGHT I SAW THEM NOTICED ME BUT.....

I SAW THEM LEAVING!

ARGH!

I RAN LIKE CHEETAH! ZROOOOOOOOOOOOM

My little index finger managed to POKE Ivy just before they STEPPED DOWN on the escalator

PHEW

"OH HI!!"

"YO"

We chatted blah blah..complaint their legs so tired while waiting for me oh thank you!

(=_=)

Then my mum saw us. I HOPE SHE LET ME SHOP WITH THEM FOR A WHILE.

No, tell me to say BYEBYE to my friends.

Arghhhhhhh

Sob...i waved at them sadly as i watched them drifting away slowly........and slowly.......as their figures faded at the sight.................

My heart cried so sorrowfully...so hurtful.......

I shopped with my cousins for a while

Legs tired.....

Bought NOTHING. I tried searching for this bag i wanted (as said in "QueensTown Trip") actually, there got some are my type but no idea which to choose! ARGH what a hard time.

So we went home as I got tuition in the evening...

Yawn yawn....