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Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery
Being a HI person
Written on: Sunday, April 08, 2007
Time: 6:43 PM

"Mom. How did I get my hearing loss?"

"You had a high fever when you were only seven months old, dear"

"But why? How did I get it?"

"Its an unknown case. It just happened like that"

"Oh"

"Why the question? You asked me this before"

"Nothing, Mom, just a casual ask"


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I often looked at the mirror and asked myself.

Why did I have to be a hearing impaired person? Why me? Why the cause? Did I do something bad in my previous life that I deserved to be in this state? Why?

Such thoughts are unquestionable. I have to look for the answers myself.

As I observe the things around me, there are so much differences.

Honestly, the more I'm with the HI people, the more I will get influenced by them and their sign languages.

Before I actually met you guys, I was just as normal as any hearing people, despite my hearing. But ever since I met you guys, my lifestyle eventually change, causing me to become more "closer" to the HI and not to the world outside. I started learning sing languages and my voice kind of change when I talked with my gestures.

Even my parents were not pleased when they notice my bad habits.

But I do not blame you for influnceing me this way. Its ME who have to be at fault because I chose myself to be influenced by you guys. Its the same goes for computering. If you let your control go wild and keep playing without any self-control, you will be addicted. So we have to control our too-used hand gesturings. Actually, I guess its OKAY to do that once in a while but we shall TRY not to do so much.

Next, we are in high school now. We are practically surrounding among ourselves at one corner and not exposing ourselves to others.

When we are with hearing people, we get real shy and timid, not voicing out.

We see all sorts of people. People who understand us. People who discriminate us due to our handicaps.

Mostly, it is the PEOPLE who don't "understand" how we HI people have gone through our lives. We think they look down on us, regarding the way they react towards us or showing different attitude when being with us.

But why do we think this way? Why do we think our live sucks and we are living so miserably because people have been looking down on us and do not try to understand us?

Its because we don't accept who we are!

If you don't love yourself, how can you expect others to respect you??

If we only find faults in ourselves, we are also expecting others to only know the faults within us, and therefore, we are always waiting to be rejected.

If you can't understand yourself, then people also won't understand you because you chose not to.

We can't also keep blaming others just because of all these. Its not their fault that we ended like this. Our parents had already done their best to let us be born this way.

Ever notice how some people seem to be able to talk to anyone? They are not born lucky; they simply use skills. Thats because they develop a particular awareness, in a way that they are able to adapt to their lifestyle, and towards to the people around them. In order to influence others positively, we need to develop that kind of awareness.

If there are people who don't respect you, you have to ask yourself; "What did I do to encourage them to dislike me?"

Its simple. If you want them to change, YOU have to change first. By changing yourself, they will also automatically change because they notice the changes in you. You don't have to change for others' sake. Change for your OWN needs and good. Well, if you notice anything in you and you want to do something about you, change it.

If people like you, its okay.

If people don't like you, its still OKAY.

If other say things about you, don't be affected. Its their business, not yours.

If we are too self-consicious, we are making our life miserable and we are also making things difficult for those who are trying to HELP us.

Ok...i will continue next time....... haven't done yet lols