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Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery
Inexplicable Reasons.....sort of
Written on: Sunday, April 29, 2007
Time: 6:57 PM

Sunday, 29 April 2007

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

The "WHYs" seems to be whirling all over the place in my mind. I keep asking myself that famous word; WHY.

Oh please, don't make me repeat that word again!

I also asked myself some silly questions like:

How strong is my brain memory is???

Can it work FAST like some smart people??

If i work harder, will I be like them?

Will I be also like another S'porean guy (forgot his name) who was once a student with awful grades in his secondary school, but now, he became one of the smart and VIP people... lol

Ivy, I think you know who that guy is. That guy was the one whom your tutor said she was going to meet him. That writer...

I even thought of what I am going to do if I ever to go POLY.

WHAT COURSE SHOULD I TAKE?

Gosh, I'm still in sec 3 and I dare think of all these

RACHEL, worry about yourself first! EXAMS ARE JUST ROUND THE CORNER!!!

IN FACT, THEY ARE ALREADY STARTING! NEXT MONDAY!!!

I told myself I will work harder from now onwards but it seems that i'm not doing it.

URGH!!

RACHEL KOH, U IDIOT.

There's no point scolding myself as well...

SIGH.

Ok, the main thing just for TODAY which worries me is music.

I'm perfectly fine with my flute course.

but not for music theory.

Now I'm proceeding to Flute Grade 6, so next Monday, I might/might not go home with you guys as I might be going out with my parents to buy the grade books... I cheered myself. HOORAY! Two more grades left and I can apply for the Performer's Certificate (the final level) after I have completed grade 8.

My music theory? Damned SLOW.

I'm still struggling to finish the last remaining pages on Grade 3 book and my other three teammates are already nearing to Grade 4. One has already started on the grade 4 book while the other two are now doing Grade 3 exam pratical practices, which after they are done, they can proceed to Grade 4 onwards....

URGH. Why am I the last? It was because I did not attend theory lesson for three weeks in which I missed three lessons due to my Hawaii trip and a day which I was so tired after coming back to Singapore on Saturday night, I couldn't get up the next day where I had my music.

Grade 3 theory may sound easy to you but actually, it isn't. There are more key notes to remember and there alot of changes in it. For instance, key signatures in my flute grade 5 is the same key signatures noted in grade 3 theory! This is why theory usually takes more time to go through. Its slightly different from your instrument course. This very young boy in my group, should be around 11 years old, he is really smart in the theory but when we take grade 3, he has abit of misunderstanding and got slightly confused in some part of the questions. I guess he is still young after all. When he grow up, sure no problem....

Gosh, I feel I can no longer catch up for the theory!

My teacher suggested if i want to stay back for another few months to go through grade 3 all over again, seeing that I'm already struggling so much.

I told him NO.

LOL!!

Deep inside, I don't want to. I want to catch up and proceed to grade 4, together with the others.

Worse still, i'm the oldest of all and it seems embarrassing to me that the oldest person can't even catch up with the younger ones. How shameful can it be? Plus, I took flute course kind of late for my age, thus, enroling music theory late. It does make sense right? If you are still very young and you already took music course, it'll be easier as you move on... SIGH

Worse still, Mr Zufar wants me to take part in the music competition on 14 July.

NOOOOO!!! why tell me this? i have too much stuffs loaded in my mind and here comes another information, squeezing its way through this crowded brain of mine!!

I always think music is sooo easy just because I have a music background, but soon, i realise it is NOT at all.

There are times I even thought of giving up music.

I felt I could no longer take it. Why? I'm ok with my flute but not theory. What's the difference? Is it WORTH it?

Sometimes I wish I took art course instead. Its so MUCH EASIER!!

Yet, I cannot stop haftway. I have to finish everything I learn in music. OH MAN!!!

GOD, HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still have to concentrate on my STUDIES, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR NOW!!!!!!

URGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!




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